Tuesday, April 3, 2012

ITS NOT ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE


I AM LEAVING YOU

There are so many reason that people left their married life. John told me that he got the reason when he left his married life and so does Jasmine.

BUT

In reality I know both of them has someone else before they decided to leave. Both of them convince me that
"It is not about someone else" or "It is not about her"

MORE

They said they don't have life as a couple anymore. They are growing apart and problems has been there for years. They said they have tried to make their partner changed, discussed it for years but the result is zero.
They said they were frustrated and did not know what to do.

SO

The problem was there years before they met someone.

Till then I met someone and it makes things different. The someone who they said understand them more as a friend and real partner.

Someone who show them different side of the world. Made  them thinking  the word of HAPPINESS in their remain years of life. People has a limit and thing happens for reason and someone makes them happy
Their role of someone is s a person who helps them decided what the best for them. They give the idea of HAPPINESS should be.

THE PARTNER

"I believe she left me because of someone else" Doni told me. "I believe he left me because of her" Katty told me.

Everything was all right before. Things went good before they meet with someone else. We only had little arguing there is not a "real" problem. "Jasmine can do her own things and I gave her space to do what she loves to do" "I always the one who hold my self not to go into any argument. I am doing my best to do both work and house work. What else he wants me to do?" Katty almost yelled to me when she said that to me.

ATTENTION, ROMANTIC,  AND  SEX

"Attention? Hmm well, I feel I have given what she wanted. Big nice house, nice life, car, money, everything. Yes, I admitted I did not really give her attention but she knows I am busy at work and always back home late" Doni explained

"Attention? I don't know. I don't remember. It is all just normal stuff, I did not give him some attention than I used to give him. It is just a routine after all we have been marriage for more than 20 years, what sort of attention he wants from me. Get real" Katty defending her action

"Sex? Well, I maybe not really thinking about is. It is quiet often I was back home late and I was busy at work! so then I just don't have energy even to think about sex. As far I remember we have not done it for the last 2 months. Jasmine seems ok with it. She did ask me for sex but seriously I was so tired and I think she understand that if man tired they cant perform well and I did not want disappointing her"

"I know sex is a bit problem. At my age now I don't feel the needs anymore. We have grown up kids and we have a grandchildren, sex is not our priority anymore. Yes, true, John has told me that he still has the needs and sex for man doesn't have limit age. BUT I am expecting he understand me that my body has been changing now and I just could not do it anymore. Its hurt me when I was doing it. What can I do? He should understand me!"

SO

Do you think John and Katty decided the right things that they want to be happy for the life remains. They said they will die of  boredom, no fun, no attention and no sex life. They have right to pursue their happines after they have tried to fix their marriage life.

It is not because someone else. It is because couples always think nothing wrong with their marriage life as long as they are still living in the same roof even though they bored each other.  When divorce is in front of their face they said and beg "I am sorry ok, I will change and fix the problem. I promised. Let's start again and I promised with my heart"

BUT

They forget that feeling and heart is not for them anymore. That no one can control their heart making the decision even stronger to leave.

THEN

They have to realize thing is too late already.

For my best friend who decided to make their life better by making a decision to leave their marriage life.

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I am ME In all the world there is No one else exactly like me There are persons who have Parts like me, but no one who Adds me up exactly like me Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically MINE because I alone chose it “Virginia Satir”